I don't want to let this blog go silent - not because I think many people are reading, but because I want to keep at a writing project for once without giving it up. I may one day turn these posts into essays or something.
I've been doing very bad with my fixation on atheist blogs. One of a certain Jerry Coyne of the University of Chicago in particular has given me a lot of trouble. The man truly hates religion. It is not just that he thinks it is incorrect, it is absurd and not only is everyone who embraces it absurd, everyone who does not think it quite so absurd, even if they do not agree with it, is also absurd. I have been, on several occasions, prompted by a thought "I wonder what that man thinks of this issue?" Like, if I put "faith in yourself" into the search box on his blog, will I come up with a tirade against believing in oneself without any evidence. I don't know why I fixate on people like this, because even if I became an atheist, I would not be one of that sort - I would be the reluctant William Rowe type of atheist.
Anyway, this when this sort of thing gets to the point that I even think "What does that hateful fellow think of Weird Al?" even I get embarrassed enough to force myself to resist. But for those weaselly little sentences and phrases like "believe in yourself", it is hard to resist the call of the search-box. I know these thoughts are absurd, but what you are caught in a kind of monomania, there is no way out but to surrender to these impulses and hope the next doesn't prick up too soon. I once grew so tired of this impulse that I wretched the Shift key off my keyboard and threw it into some trees behind my old apartment in Chapel Hill so that I would no longer be able to use the quotation marks to engage in this sort of Boolean madness.
I am out of metaphorical breath at the moment, though I feel I have more to say. Maybe later.